


fucking loser thinks about his friends being nice to him and jerks off while crying

by Shad0wFlight34



Category: Zombies Run!
Genre: Angst, Begging, Edgeplay, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, Threesome, Voyeurism, spoilers as early as s2m43 up to about s3m47 so be wary!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-17 22:09:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16982691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shad0wFlight34/pseuds/Shad0wFlight34
Summary: Simon has a lot of free time and spends a bunch of it in clammy self-abuse, and due to recent events he's kind of focused in on Five and Sam, he feels gross and weird about it but since when has that been enough to stop him.Honestly this one's a bit weird, to me as something I wrote, not for the Internet, but hopefully ya'll enjoy reading about a dude crying because he thought about his friends being nice to him while he was jerking off.spoilers as early as s2m43 up to about s3m47 so, as noted in the tags





	fucking loser thinks about his friends being nice to him and jerks off while crying

It was weird how little there was to do, living with Amelia. There was always enough supplies, and they almost always had a ride to wherever they needed to be. Amelia was busy most of the time too, and didn't take kindly to being disturbed. Simon often found himself alone in one of Amelia's hideouts and despite the wealth of basic supplies and even post apocalyptic luxuries such as showers and power, there was painfully little to do. Simon was the first to admit he'd become lazy since, well... everything, and it seemed he spent most of his time doing what he was doing right now; lying back in a small bed, staring at the ceiling and trying to suppress the intense catholic guilt long enough to get off.

He'd learned a long time ago that trying to think of Janine was a bad idea. All he could think of was how much she must hate him, and how she would never forgive him. It was hard to think of anyone or anything nowadays, but there'd been an unexpected extra benefit from helping Five during their worst hour. The few words they'd exchanged, how quickly Abel had taken them back, and the fact that on some primal level, they had trusted him... it had given him some kind of hope. Hope that maybe he could be redeemed, forgiven even.

So exactly why he had chosen to pervert this was beyond him. At first he'd thought the easiest entry point to a fantasy would be that night, he'd remembered they way they'd clung to him and stared at him like he was the most beautiful thing they'd ever seen, the way their eyes had screamed “you could take me _anywhere_ , as long as I can be near you I'll be happy” when he'd told them he was going to take them home, the sheer tenderness etched into every part of them as they'd touched his hands, face, chest; looking for even the smallest sign of injury. Thinking about that had been a mistake and had ended with him huddled up in the shower crying with guilt and self-directed disgust, remembering how that look had turned to confusion, then horror, how they'd pushed him away as soon as their delusion was dispelled, as soon as they'd seen him for who he was and not just a strangely tall Sam Yao. He'd remarked on it in a bitterly joking way on the ride home, “if it makes you feel any better,” Five had offered “I would have been disappointed no matter who it was, it was a pretty awesome fantasy” the only part of that that had made him feel even a little happiness was that Five had deigned to joke with him, and not just coldly glare or ignore him. He'd seen flashes of sympathy and affection on their face before, but seeing it out in the open again after all that time...

They had fucked a few times before he'd been exposed, Five liked making people happy and didn't see anything weird about friends helping each other out. Before he'd really opened up to them they'd treated it almost like just another friendly competition. It didn't happen much but Five seemed to delight in making him squirm, flashing him the same delinquent smile that they'd give him before executing a plan to make trouble for pursuers or enemies or even lighter pranks on friends. They were deceptively strong and had a talent for catching him off guard, he'd asked them if he'd ever be allowed to return the favor and they'd laughed and told him “if you ever manage to get me going before I make you beg”

He never had managed to accomplish it.

They had a talent getting him to beg for release far faster than his pride would admit, but they never seemed especially interested in reciprocation, “I'm a service top by nature” they'd explained with a shrug and a laugh.

Even when it was just fun contest, they'd still been careful about it, even if they'd just slammed him against the wall one-handed and was already grinning with anticipation he'd see a flash of caution in their eyes and they signed a word they had made to the effect of “is this ok/are you comfortable?” and they'd wait to check he was into it.

He always was.

Things had taken a more gentle turn as they become closer, although still teasing Five took more time to be gentle, he could read lips and they took advantage of this fact to mouth praise at him. He'd never realized he had a praise kink until Five had grabbed his chin, made him look at their lips and mouthed, “you're beautiful. You deserve good things. You're a good boy.” Five had barely begun touching him and he had cum in their hand. They'd nervously asked him if he was ok and if any of that had been weird or bad. It definitely hadn't been.

They'd made a point of taking full advantage of his newly discovered praise kink too. He was almost completely sure they'd told Janine as he had spotted them signing something he didn't catch to her before spotting him and smirking that evil grin at him. Janine had also smirked, and... started praising him in bed. Yeah, they definitely told her. _Oh God, don't think about Jenny, don't think about it, think about something else, not what she'd say to you now if she could._

Somewhere along the track, Simon had added Sam to his fantasies, something about him and Five, how close they were even though he _knew_ they hadn't confessed how they obviously felt about each other yet. He'd tried voyeuristically thinking about them, imagining Five pushing Sam gently against a wall, _they're always gentle with him, even when they're wrestling or messing around._ He snorted slightly. Five was so soft with Sam, he could probably drown them and they'd just let him with that same lovestruck look on their face.

At some point he'd started picturing them knowing he was there and not minding, and it'd been easy to go from there to them inviting him to join them, letting him in on their intimacy, and from there letting himself be the main event, both of them kissing and paying attention to him. These sessions often still made him cry, but he still managed to get off which was a step up. Kind of.

It was easy to picture, Five had somehow got Sam to forgive him, to let him into what they had, he could picture the soft affection on Five's face, like they could see into his soul; saw the flaws, and the damage, and still liked him on the other side. Sam was cuddling up to him from behind and Five was kissing him and running their nails up and down his stomach, making him shudder. Simon slumped back in the bed and tried to replicate the feeling with his free hand, then rubbed his thumb over his nipple _Sam was the one rubbing his thumb over Simon's nipples, giggling and chatting in his ear, assuring him, praising him-_ Simon could feel himself tearing up _Five was cupping his face and kissing his lips, gently working their way down his neck, leaving hickies in hard-to-cover areas to ensure everyone knew..._ Simon's legs were shaking and he was torn between speeding up the process or dragging it out as long as he could, he could picture Five grabbing his hands as he tried to reach for himself, twining their fingers together to keep him in place.

Simon had never thought he'd be the type to cry over basic intimacy, but here he was, he'd had to abandon playing with his nipples in favour of wiping his arm across his arm across his face to try and clear his vision, _“its ok, let it out, you're doing great” Sam's voice was soft, Five had one hand on Simon's cock, the other on his cheek and was gently kissing his forehead, they pulled back, “you're ok, Simon” they mouthed, their gaze turned intense, “you're beautiful”_ Simon gasped and threw his head back, rocking his hips and running his thumb over the slit of his dick as he bit down the urge to beg for release from people who weren't even there. _Five was smirking at him, “you want to cum?”_

“ _God,_ please _Five, I can't take much more please let me”_

_Five glanced over his shoulder to Sam and tilted their head,_ should we? _Sam's voice was low now, it'd happened before, but was pretty rare and it sent shivers up Simon's spine, “Yeah, he's been so_ good-” A whine escaped him at that one, _“I think he's_ earned _it”_ Simon's back was arched and he pulled a pillow in front of his face to muffle his desperate moans as a flurry of images whirled through his mind, Five fucking him with a strap on, Sam fucking him, him fucking Five, he came on himself, imagining the two of them fucking him, calling him a good boy.

He had only a few moments of bliss before the guilt and disgust crawled back over his skin, _god, they'd think I'm disgusting if they knew... Five would hate me, Sam would probably be sick. You had such a good thing going at Abel and you traded it all in, you stupid, disgusting, sinful-_  

“Are you done?” Amelia looked annoyed but otherwise unperturbed despite being confronted by Simon's fully naked body still shivering and covered in his own cum, “I was on a very important transmission and I could hear you carrying on like a cat in heat, and honestly, I could hear-” Simon pulled the pillow off his face, and Amelia blanched “Oooohkay, you've been crying I see, I'll just- I'll just give you some privacy” she brought an her fingers up beside her eyes to shield Simon from her view and closed the door.

Simon slumped back and slapped his hands over his face, lying there for a minute before slinking off the shower.

 


End file.
